What Is Generational Trauma?

What have you inherited from your family and ancestors? To answer that question, you might ponder some physical characteristics. In some instances, you may list some material inheritances. But did you know that something less obvious could be at play in this decision and in your life? This is where generational trauma can be present.

It could be your parent, grandparent, or someone else — someone even further back. If any such relative endured painful events, the ensuing trauma might be active in your own life without you even realizing it. The result could be seen via symptoms, unhealthy coping mechanisms, and beyond. But how can we cope with such a negative legacy?

What Does Generational Trauma Feel Like?

Traumatic events can evoke unhealthy coping choices. Imagine how much more likely that is when you’re dealing with generational trauma. It’s as if you know something is off but don’t understand why. Hence, you can land in a place anywhere between invalidating what you feel and denying what you feel.

Suppressed emotions can cause emotional and physical problems. In addition, as long as these feelings remain unexamined, there’s a likelihood that generational trauma will continue to be passed down. This cycle can continue until someone stands up against the ongoing unhealthy family patterns. But keep in mind that until those patterns are addressed, the potential for ongoing abuse remains.

Dealing With Elders

Generally speaking, younger family members are more prone to identifying negative issues and being the ones who seek change. The elders might not be willing to own up to the existence of any such issues. They don’t want to air “dirty laundry” or stir things up. The mere mention of therapy is greeted with derision. This is precisely how the traumatic triggers and outcomes get normalized. It can be scary to be the rebel, but families stuck in generational trauma need that jumpstart.

How Can a Family Address and Overcome Generational Trauma?

Trauma and traumatic abuse are frighteningly common. Almost half of U.S. children have experienced at least one adverse childhood experience. This sets them up for a lifetime of struggle unless they get the help they need. To ask for that help is to worry more about your loved ones than about the stigma of emotional and mental problems.

You will need the guidance of a therapist, but, all the while, you can expedite the process by engaging in mindset changes like:

Reject Toxic Positivity and Bootstrap Ethics

Of course, a positive mindset and a willingness to work is crucial. But without becoming vulnerable enough to face reality, they won’t break the family cycle. You’re not being “negative” when you do the work to identify what’s gone wrong and thus needs to change.

Speaking of Change…

Change can happen once we acknowledge the need for it to happen. Family bonds can cause us to turn a blind eye to red flags. However, you’ll remain stuck until you recognize the need for change is not a lack of love. Trying to end generational trauma, in fact, is a courageous act of love.

Pass Down Something Better

Wouldn’t it be awesome if ensuing generations inherited attributes like transparency and resiliency? Once the negative momentum has been shifted, it is quite possible to start passing down healthy habits that benefit everyone involved.

Again, Don’t Try to Go It Alone

Generational trauma can make you feel like your loved ones are hiding some ugly secrets. This is daunting and requires professional support. Your family may drag their feet on having any kind of open conversation so the process can begin for you in your therapy sessions. Let’s connect and talk soon about trauma therapy.